One Man and his Shed
of sheds are soaring but what on earth goes on behind
the ivy clad doors? Andy Sturgeon investigates
sheds are a male domain and following extensive scientific
research I have been able to fabricate 7 stereotypes
of owners and their sheds. You will probably recognize
someone you know and maybe even yourself.
Your name is Justin, Justin Case and you are a DIY fanatic
who never throws anything away. Stacked against the
wall are offcuts of wood from every project you've ever
undertaken around the house. You keep old paint tins,
scraps of carpet, bits of wire and broken spades because
you never know when they might come in handy. If there
was a sudden shortage of blunt drill bits and old plugs
you would be able to solve the crisis single handedly
in minutes. You spend a lot of time in here which pleases
your wife because it keeps you out of the house but
she can still keep an eye on you. Most of the time you
are looking for things because you're not quite sure
where they are but you know they're here somewhere and
they usually are.
You are the man with immaculate tools. Your shed is
very, very tidy. Tidier probably than most peoples'
homes, there's a place for everything and everything
is in its place. You own every type of tool there is
and draw the outline of each one onto the wall so that
it can't accidentally be hung in the wrong space. You
also collect everything in jars; every size of screw
and nail imaginable and even funny shaped bits of metal
that you've had so long you've forgotten what they are.
Everything is neatly colour-coded, labeled and kept
in ascending order of size. You spend a lot of time
in here pottering about, sharpening tools, sorting stuff
out and peering at things with your glasses perched
on the end of your nose. You creosote the outside rather
more often than is strictly necessary and get twitchy
if anybody else ever goes in there. You keep your shed
firmly locked and own a Jack Russell.
You live in Kensington or Chelsea and your brand new
orangey brown shed is where you keep the cream canvas
parasol, overwinter the teak garden chairs and store
the never used garden tools which you got for a wedding
present. You probably have a gardener but don't really
like him coming in here, after all, he should bring
his own tools because you pay him enough. If you've
tired of London and moved to the country you probably
keep the ride on mower in here as well. You have plans
to convert your shed into a beach hut by painting it
blue, just like the one you saw on Ground Force.
Legionnaire's shed. (British rather than French Foreign
that is). This is usually on your allotment. You probably
spend rather more time in here than you do actually
gardening. There's not much space inside and at first
glance it seems disorganized and unkempt but on closer
inspection everything seems to have a place. There's
a shelf overflowing with ancient chemicals and old but
well kept tools hang everywhere. You often listen to
the wireless which is in fact an old Roberts Radio.
On the bench there's a copy of the Daily Mail and a
flask of tea, but in the drawer there's a bottle of
the good stuff. The most important thing is space for
your chair and maybe for the fold up one hanging on
the wall just in case you have a guest with whom to
exchange war stories. You normally tell the one about
how you lost your finger tips in 1944.
You are an aspiring writer or artist. Your 'studio'
started off as an ordinary shed but you have adapted
it specially for your hobby. There are now bigger windows
than normal to afford a good view of the garden and
to let in more daylight. There is at least one battered
but comfortable upholstered chair and there is an old
rug on the floor. You have installed electricity to
power lights, a heater and a word processor. You have
been writing a novel for nearly four years but haven't
shown it to anyone yet and you wish you were Geoffrey
Archer but don't dare to admit it. Most of the time
you read other peoples books or sit staring out of the
window planning new planting schemes for the borders.
This is basically your sanctuary. Unusually for a shed
fanatic you may even be a woman.
You are nine and this used to be your dad's shed but
now you've taken it over. What does he want with all
this junk anyway? In any case it's well out of the way
at the bottom of the garden next to the compost heap
and you're sure he wouldn't mind even if he knew you'd
made a camp in here. Your Mother on the other hand would
probably be far less sympathetic if she knew your twelve
year old brother had moved his Guinea pig in here. If
you are a girl you have probably twisted your dad round
your little finger, persuaded him to move all his junk
elsewhere and painted the inside pink. The painting
will have been done very badly and will never be entirely
You are something of a green fingered entrepreneur.
With the help of artificial lights and an inordinate
amount of tin foil you explore the possibilities of
hydroponics. Most of the time you barely know where
the garden is, never mind the shed.
here for the Greeenfingers new range of sheds for
with premission from Greenfingers.com