Hi Mrs. Wage,
Sorry to hear this, but it sounds like it's time for your holly tree to go to holly tree heaven.* If you top the tree you will make it ugly and unstable.
http://www.plantamnesty.org/stoptopp...toptopping.htm
If the tree is too big for the space there comes a time when pruning is no longer effective.* It's sad but true.* You might want to have a certified arborist come and look at it.* Maybe your neighbor can plant a male on her property.
Newt
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.